written by Abi Rayner, LSW

Do you ever have thoughts that scare you — thoughts you can't shake, that feel so contrary to who you are, but make you wonder if you're a bad person? If so, you may be experiencing OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). OCD is widely misunderstood. Far more than a quirk about neatness, it is a serious anxiety disorder driven by intrusive thoughts and compulsive behaviors. This article explains what OCD really is, describes its most common forms, outlines the evidence-based treatments that offer real relief, and offers guidance for those supporting a loved one with the condition.
 
What is OCD, really? 
The term “OCD” is often used casually to describe someone who is particular or tidy — "I'm so OCD," people say, referring to their neatness or how they like things "just so." But that is a stereotype, and a misleading one. Real OCD is far more distressing, disruptive, and complex than a preference for order. In fact, many people with OCD are so busy carrying out compulsions that their homes, cars, and lives are a mess.
 
OCD is a disorder where an intrusive thought triggers a persistent, overwhelming obsession — and the subject of that obsession can be almost anything. It could be a fear of getting sick, worry that someone you love will be harmed, or a nagging anxiety that you are a bad or unlikeable person. What defines OCD is not the content of the thought, but the cycle it sets in motion.

What are the most common types of OCD? 
OCD takes many forms. While the specific obsession varies from person to person, the underlying cycle — intrusive thought, anxiety, compulsion, temporary relief — remains the same across all types.
 
Harm OCD
Harm OCD centers on the fear that the sufferer has hurt someone, or that they want to. A person might feel compelled to constantly check with those around them to confirm they haven't caused harm. At its most extreme, this can mean returning to a bump in the road to check it wasn't a person, or even calling the police to confess to something that never happened.
 
Relationship OCD
Relationship OCD places the obsession on friendships or romantic partnerships. The fear is of not being liked, or that a perfectly happy relationship is somehow flawed. Compulsions might include constantly checking a phone for text replies or social media likes, or relentlessly analyzing interactions with a partner. When the discomfort becomes unbearable, a person might end a relationship — only to be flooded with regret.
 
Contamination OCD 
Contamination OCD is perhaps the best-known form, associated with excessive handwashing and fear of germs. But it can escalate far beyond what most people imagine. Those suffering from contamination OCD may wash their hands for so long that the household is constantly out of soap. They might be running up water bills by hundreds of dollars from showers that last for hours.
 
Why does carrying out a compulsion make OCD worse?
 
Performing a compulsion provides relief — but only temporarily. The relief fades quickly, and the urge returns stronger than before. Each time the compulsion is repeated, it reinforces the brain's belief that the feared outcome is real and that the compulsion is necessary to prevent it.
​
This is the part that many people, and especially parents–get wrong. If I child wants you to remove a toy she fears she will destroy. This seems the obvious route to the child finding comfort and most importantly, if it’s bedtime, going to sleep/
Unfortunately, accommodations of OCD, are like feeding a Mogwai after midnight: the Mogwai, a seemingly benign, cute, furry animal, becomes a gremlin–a bat-eared, sharp toothed creature bent on creating havoc. In other words, when OCD is accommodated it gains power. Understanding this cycle is the first step toward breaking it.

What does effective OCD treatment look like? 
OCD is highly treatable. Several science-backed approaches have strong evidence behind them, and most people see meaningful improvement when working with a trained mental health professional. Treatment is rarely a straight line, but with consistency and the right support, real progress is possible.
What is Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), and how does it work? ERP is widely considered the gold-standard treatment for OCD. It works by gradually and deliberately exposing a person to the thoughts, images, or situations that trigger their obsessions — while supporting them in resisting the urge to carry out the compulsion. Over time, the brain learns that the feared outcome does not occur, and that the discomfort of not performing the compulsion is tolerable and temporary.
This can sound counterintuitive, even frightening. Why would anyone want to face the very thing that causes them so much distress? The answer is that avoidance and compulsions are what keep OCD alive. ERP interrupts the cycle at its core. Sessions typically begin with lower-anxiety situations and build gradually, always at a pace the individual can manage.
 
It is important to note that ERP is not about "thinking positively" or dismissing fears as irrational. It is a structured, evidence-based process that teaches the brain — through direct experience — that it can handle uncertainty without performing a ritual to make it go away.

How does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) help with OCD?
​CBT helps individuals recognize and challenge the thought patterns that fuel the OCD cycle. People with OCD often place enormous significance on intrusive thoughts — interpreting them as meaningful, dangerous, or revealing something true about their character. CBT helps clients understand that having an intrusive thought is not the same as wanting to act on it, and that the thought itself is not dangerous.
Through CBT, clients learn to identify cognitive distortions — such as catastrophizing, magical thinking, or inflated responsibility — and develop healthier, more balanced ways of responding to intrusive thoughts. Used alongside ERP, CBT can significantly accelerate progress.

What role do ACT and mindfulness play in treating OCD?
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) takes a slightly different approach. Rather than trying to change or eliminate intrusive thoughts, ACT teaches individuals to accept that uncomfortable thoughts will arise — and to choose not to engage with them. The goal is to reduce the struggle with thoughts, not to win it.
Mindfulness supports this process by helping people observe their thoughts from a distance, rather than becoming fused with them. Regular mindfulness practice builds the awareness needed to notice when OCD is demanding attention, and creates a pause between thought and response. Over time, this reduces both the frequency and intensity of the OCD cycle.

Why is self-compassion an important part of recovery?
Self-compassion is often overlooked in OCD treatment, but it plays a vital supporting role. Many people with OCD carry significant shame — about their thoughts, their behaviors, and what they fear those things say about them. That shame can become a barrier to seeking help, staying in treatment, or believing that recovery is possible.

Learning to be kind to yourself while you practice new and difficult skills is not a soft add-on to treatment — it is what makes the harder work sustainable. A good therapist will weave self-compassion throughout the recovery process, helping clients understand that struggling with OCD is not a personal failing, and that they deserve support.
"A diagnosis of OCD is not a life sentence — it can be the beginning of freedom from pain, anxiety, shame, and the sense that something is fundamentally wrong with you."

How can you support someone with OCD? 
Supporting a loved one with OCD can be both emotionally demanding and deeply confusing. The instinct to help — to reassure, to accommodate, to remove the source of distress — is natural and comes from a place of love. But when it comes to OCD, many of the most instinctive responses can inadvertently make things worse.

Why is reassurance-giving harmful in OCD?
Reassurance is one of the most common ways loved ones try to help — and one of the most counterproductive. When someone with OCD asks "Are you sure I didn't hurt you?" or "Do you still love me?", answering with comfort feels kind in the moment. But reassurance functions as a compulsion by proxy: it provides temporary relief that reinforces the OCD cycle, rather than helping the person learn to tolerate uncertainty on their own.
 
This does not mean being cold or dismissive. It means gently declining to engage with the OCD, while still being warm and present with the person. A helpful response might be: "I love you, and I'm not going to answer that question because I know it won't actually help you." This takes practice, and it can feel cruel at first — but it is one of the most loving things a supporter can do.
 
What does helpful support actually look like?
Helpful support starts with education. Understanding how OCD works — the cycle of intrusion, obsession, compulsion, and temporary relief — helps loved ones respond with clarity rather than frustration. It also helps to understand that the person with OCD is not choosing their thoughts or behaviors, and that recovery takes time.
Practical support might include encouraging the person to seek professional help, attending family therapy sessions, and working with a therapist to understand how to respond to compulsions without accommodating them. It also means taking care of your own mental health. Supporting someone with OCD can be exhausting, and you cannot pour from an empty cup.

Finally, celebrate progress — however small. Recovery from OCD is not linear, and there will be setbacks. Recognizing and acknowledging each step forward, no matter how modest, builds the confidence and motivation needed to keep going.

When should you encourage someone to seek professional help?
If OCD is significantly interfering with a person's daily life — their work, relationships, sleep, or sense of self — it is time to seek professional support. OCD rarely improves on its own, and the longer it goes untreated, the more difficult it becomes to unravel. That said, the old adage: better late than never applies. Seek treatment as soon as possible to start pushing back against OCD and reclaim your life.
 
Is OCD a life sentence?
No. A diagnosis of OCD is not a life sentence — it can be the beginning of freedom from pain, anxiety, shame, and the sense that something is fundamentally wrong with you. Treatment is not always intuitive, and it asks people to do the opposite of what feels natural. But with the support of a skilled mental health professional, recovery is absolutely possible. If you recognize yourself or someone you love in this article, reaching out for help is a courageous and worthwhile step.  

You can schedule an appointment with one of our clinicians at Mindful and Multicultural Counseling in Ewing, NJ or virtually in New Jersey.
 
Abi Rayner is a Licensed Social Worker at Mindful and Multicultural Counseling who holds a Master's in Social Work from Rutgers University. A former journalist for The Times and the Financial Times, she is also the author of four picture books for children. Abi grew up in the UK and has lived in the US for half her life.

​Understanding ADHD: Symptoms, Diagnosis, and Unseen Challenges
Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a complex neurodevelopmental condition that affects millions worldwide. While once primarily associated with hyperactive young boys, our understanding of ADHD has evolved significantly. This article delves into the nuances of ADHD, examining its historical context, diverse symptom presentations, common misdiagnoses, the impact of stigma, and the critical need for a neurodiversity-informed approach to diagnosis and treatment.

The Evolving Landscape of ADHD Understanding
ADHD is not a new phenomenon; its recognition in medical literature dates back to 1775. Over time, diagnostic criteria have been refined through various editions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Initially observed as hyperkinetic disorder, the condition later encompassed attention deficit disorder (ADD) and eventually evolved into the current understanding of ADHD with its distinct subtypes: predominantly inattentive, predominantly hyperactive-impulsive, and combined.

Key ADHD Diagnostic Criteria
The DSM framework, along with the ICD-11, outlines core criteria for ADHD diagnosis:

• Early Onset: Symptoms must have appeared before the age of 12.
• Pervasiveness: Symptoms must be present in two or more settings (e.g., home, school, work).
• Impairment: Symptoms must cause significant interference with social, academic, or occupational functioning.
• Symptom Categories: Diagnosis requires a specific number of symptoms from either the inattentive category or the hyperactive-impulsive category, or both.
  
  Recognizing the Diverse Manifestations of ADHD
  

ADHD symptoms can present differently across individuals, often influenced by gender, age, and background. While core symptoms include inattention (difficulty focusing, completing tasks, organization) and hyperactivity-impulsivity (fidgeting, excessive talking, interrupting), the outward presentation can vary greatly.

​The ADHD Iceberg: Beyond Visible Symptoms

​What is often visible—inattentiveness or hyperactivity—is just the tip of the iceberg. Deeper challenges associated with ADHD can include:

• Sleep Disturbances: A significant percentage of individuals with ADHD experience sleep disorders.
• Mood Swings and Emotional Dysregulation: Difficulty managing emotions can lead to misdiagnosis with conditions like bipolar disorder or personality disorders.
• Time Blindness: An impaired sense of time, making punctuality and planning difficult.
• Sensory Sensitivities: Heightened or diminished responses to sensory input (lights, sounds, textures).
• Executive Functioning Deficits: Challenges with working memory, task initiation, follow-through, and self-regulation.
• The "ADHD Tax": Additional costs incurred due to ADHD-related challenges, such as overspending on duplicates because items are misplaced.

Addressing Clinical Bias and UnderdiagnosisA significant challenge in ADHD care is the historical bias in research and clinical practice, which has predominantly focused on white males. This has led to underdiagnosis and misdiagnosis in other populations.
Key Underrepresented Groups in ADHD Diagnosis:

• Women and AFAB Individuals: Tend to internalize symptoms, masking them with strategies developed through societal expectations. They may present with racing thoughts and emotional dysregulation rather than overt hyperactivity, leading to them being overlooked or misdiagnosed.
• People of the Global Majority: Racial and ethnic minorities are less likely to receive ADHD diagnoses. This disparity is influenced by factors such as access to healthcare, cultural perceptions of mental health, linguistic barriers, and a racialized lens in behavior interpretation. For instance, disruptive behavior in Black boys may be more readily pathologized as oppositional defiant disorder than ADHD.
• Individuals with Higher Education: Despite excelling academically, individuals with ADHD often expend significant effort to achieve success, which can lead to burnout. Clinician bias may erroneously equate academic achievement with the absence of ADHD, overlooking the internal struggles and coping mechanisms employed.

Common Misdiagnoses and the "Chicken or Egg" DilemmaThe overlap between ADHD symptoms and other conditions like depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and trauma responses can lead to misdiagnosis. The crucial task for clinicians is to differentiate between symptoms that are primary to ADHD and those that may be secondary to other factors or co-occurring conditions. Understanding the function of a behavior, whether it stems from trauma activation or a core executive dysfunction, is vital.
Reframing ADHD: A Neurodiversity PerspectiveThe concept of neurodiversity shifts the paradigm from viewing ADHD as a deficit to recognizing it as a natural variation in human brain function. This perspective emphasizes:

• Dignity and Respect: Acknowledging that individuals with ADHD are equally deserving of respect and accommodation.
• Challenging Assumptions: Clinicians must actively challenge their own biases and assumptions about who "looks like" they have ADHD.
• Neurodiversity-Informed Therapy: This framework encourages understanding and accommodating neurodivergent traits, rather than solely trying to normalize them.

Moving Forward: Promoting Accurate Diagnosis and Inclusive Care
Addressing the gaps in ADHD understanding requires a commitment to ongoing education and self-reflection among clinicians.

• Continuous Learning: Staying updated on ADHD research and diagnostic practices is essential.
• Challenging Stigma: Combating the moralization of symptoms, the "it's just laziness" narrative, and the drug-seeking stereotype associated with ADHD.
• Comprehensive Assessment: Employing a multifaceted approach that considers the individual's history, a range of symptoms, and their functional impact across different life domains.
• Cultural Competence: Recognizing how cultural factors, societal expectations, and personal experiences shape symptom presentation and help-seeking behaviors.

By embracing a more inclusive and informed perspective, healthcare professionals can ensure that individuals of all backgrounds receive accurate diagnoses and appropriate support for ADHD.

Learn more by attending ADHD workshop with Taryn Chase, LPC, LCADC on May 12th or book an appointment with one of our neuroaffirming therapists.  There is nothing wrong with your brain.  The world is biased towards certain ways of being in the world. 

written by Nathalie Edmond, PsyD., RYT-500

The Four-Point Centering Practice: A Somatic Tool for Nervous System Regulation and Embodied Presence

In therapy, coaching, and personal growth work, we often focus on changing thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors. But anyone who has experienced anxiety, overwhelm, or trauma knows that insight alone rarely shifts the body’s stress response.

Our nervous systems shape how we experience the world.

Somatic practices—like the Four-Point Centering Practice developed through traditions such as the Strozzi Institute and embodied transformation work—offer a powerful way to regulate the nervous system, cultivate presence, and reconnect with the body.

For therapists, coaches, and clients alike, this practice offers a simple way to move from reactivity to grounded regulation in just a few minutes.  Regulation in this context doesn't mean controlling.  It means coming back to presence, coming back to a capacity that allows you to move through the world a little more empowered.

Why Somatic Practices Matter for Trauma and Nervous System Regulation
From a trauma-informed perspective, stress and trauma are not just psychological experiences—they are physiological patterns held in the body.

According to polyvagal theory, developed by Stephen Porges, our autonomic nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger. This process, called neuroception, determines whether we move into:

• Ventral vagal regulation (connection, safety, engagement)
• Sympathetic activation (fight or flight; overwork)
• Dorsal vagal shutdown (collapse, numbness, withdrawal, freeze, fawn)

When we are dysregulated, our bodies often reflect it:

• shoulders collapse
• breathing becomes shallow
• posture tightens
• attention becomes scattered

Somatic practices help restore a felt sense of safety and organization in the body, which supports the nervous system’s return to regulation.
One powerful entry point into this process is the Four-Point Centering Practice.

What Is the Four-Point Centering Practice?
Four-Point Centering is a foundational somatic practice used in embodied leadership, trauma-informed coaching, and somatic therapy.
It organizes the body across four dimensions:

1. Length
2. Width
3. Depth
4. Center

When these dimensions come into balance, the body often shifts into a state of greater regulation, stability, and presence.

For many people, this practice creates a subtle but powerful shift in the nervous system—from defensive reactivity to grounded awareness. Check out the practice with Dr. Nathalie Edmond

​1. Length: Reclaiming Dignity and Orientation

Length refers to the vertical alignment of the body.

Imagine your spine gently lengthening upward while your feet feel connected to the ground.
This is not about rigid posture. Instead, it’s about allowing gravity to support the body so that the head, shoulders, and hips stack naturally.

From a trauma-informed perspective, reclaiming length can help the body move out of collapse patterns often associated with dorsal vagal shutdown.
Many people report feeling:

• more alert
• more confident
• more present

In somatic traditions, length is often associated with the quality of dignity.

2. Width: Restoring Balance and Connection

Width invites awareness across the horizontal plane of the body.
You might gently notice:

• the space across your shoulders
• both feet making contact with the ground
• the weight of your body distributed evenly

Stress often causes us to narrow our attention and collapse inward.
Expanding into width can help restore a sense of spaciousness and relational awareness, which supports the ventral vagal state associated with social engagement and connection.
For therapists and coaches, practicing width can also support relational presence when working with clients.

3. Depth: Feeling the Support of the Back Body
Depth brings awareness to the front and back of the body.
Many people live primarily in the front of the body—leaning forward into effort, urgency, or vigilance.
When we include the back body in our awareness, something important happens.
We begin to feel supported.
Noticing the back of the body may include sensing:

• the back of the head
• the shoulder blades
• the spine
• the back of the legs

For trauma survivors, this awareness can help restore a sense of internal support and grounding.
In nervous system terms, depth can help counteract the hyper-vigilance of sympathetic activation.

4. Center: Returning to the Body’s Organizing Core
The final point of centering is the center of gravity in the lower belly.
In many somatic traditions and martial arts, this area is known as the hara or dantian—the physical and energetic center of the body.
Bringing attention to this center helps organize movement, breath, and awareness.
For the nervous system, this often supports:

• slower breathing
• greater stability
• reduced anxiety
• clearer decision making

Instead of operating from the head alone, action begins to arise from a deeper embodied center.

A Trauma-Informed Way to Practice Four-Point Centering
One of the key principles of trauma-informed practice is choice and pacing.
You can explore this practice gently and stop at any time if something feels uncomfortable.
Step 1: Length
Stand or sit comfortably.
Allow your spine to gently lengthen.
Step 2: Width
Notice the space across your shoulders and the contact of your feet with the ground.
Step 3: Depth
Bring awareness to the back of your body.
Feel the support behind you.
Step 4: Center
Place your attention on your lower belly.
Allow your breath to deepen naturally.
Take a few slow breaths.

You might use this practice in daily life

• before important meetings
• during moments of anxiety or overwhelm
• when reconnecting with the body after long hours on screens

We don’t just think our way into change—we practice our way into change.
Our nervous systems learn through repetition.
Every time we practice grounding, breathing, and centering, we are strengthening neural pathways associated with safety, regulation, and presence.
Over time, these practices can reshape our baseline responses to stress.

Final Reflection: Coming Home to the Body
The Four-Point Centering Practice reminds us that regulation is not something we force—it is something we support through awareness, structure, and breath.
For therapists, coaches, and clients alike, this practice offers a simple pathway back to the body.
And when we return to the body, we often rediscover something essential:
our capacity for presence, resilience, and connection.

Want to learn more schedule a session with one of our clinicians or book an appointment.
Check out more videos on our youtube channel.  Join Dr. Nathalie Edmond in one of her upcoming workshops.

by Abby Fosco

Winter often brings more than colder temperatures and shorter days. Many people notice lower energy, disrupted sleep, and a heavier mood during this season. At the same time, ongoing sociopolitical stress can intensify anxiety and emotional fatigue. When environmental and political stress overlap, the nervous system can become overactivated or depleted. Intentional strategies that support regulation, connection, and agency can make a meaningful difference.

Kristine Aguilar, MSW, LCSW, emphasizes movement: “Move your body. Run, dance, lift weights, whatever feels good.” Regular physical activity lowers cortisol and increases endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin, which support mood stabilization. Rhythmic activities such as walking, jogging, or dancing help release muscular tension and shift the body out of a stress posture. During darker months, outdoor movement in daylight also supports circadian rhythm regulation. For people who feel stuck or overwhelmed, movement can restore momentum and provide a tangible way to influence their internal state.

Taryn Chase, MA, LPC, LCADC, highlights the amplifying role of music, connection, and pets. “Music and movement. 10 out of 10.” Music activates emotional and reward centers in the brain and can facilitate catharsis. Upbeat songs can increase energy and motivation, while slower music can create space for reflection and emotional processing. Pairing music with movement enhances regulation because rhythm supports physiological synchronization. Singing, dancing, or even listening intentionally can help metabolize emotions rather than suppress them.

Nadira Keaton, MS, LPC, LCADC, ACS, NCC, further emphasizes the healing powers of music and creativity. "Art, music, and dance heal the soul! Combined, it awakens creativity and ignites a zest for life, particularly when it's freestyle."  Painting nights, museum visits, and dance classes are incredible ways to tap into creative energy and connect with your community. ​

Connection is another protective factor. Humans regulate best in relationships. Spending time with trusted others, whether virtually or in person, supports positivity and mood regulation. Even brief, consistent contact reduces isolation and interrupts rumination. When public discourse feels tense or divisive, grounding conversations and shared experiences with people we trust can reinforce stability and belonging.

Pets offer additional support. Interacting with animals lowers blood pressure and cortisol while increasing oxytocin, the bonding hormone. Petting a cat, playing with a dog, or simply sitting beside an animal can create a sense of calm and companionship. Caring for a pet also introduces routine and structure, both of which are protective against depressive symptoms during the winter months.

Abi Rayner, MSW, LSW​, describes a weekly neighborhood dog playdate. "My neighbors and I have a weekly playdate for our dogs on Sundays. The past two weeks it was canceled because of the ice, so one neighbor hosted an indoor brunch including dogs." Abi noted that the gathering created warmth and connection despite the cold. Recurring rituals like this build predictability and reinforce community bonds. Shared meals, walking groups, or standing social plans can serve as anchors in seasons that otherwise feel isolating.

This exploration delves into the depths of what it means to embody bravery, drawing profound insights from the wisdom of two Black therapists and authors who have illuminated the Enneagram and its role in understanding how we navigate the world. This approach, inspired by works like "No Justice, No Peace" by Deborah Egerton and "The Enneagram for Black Liberation" by Chichi Agorom, offers a powerful framework for self-awareness, resilience, and collective liberation.

The Foundation: Understanding Fear and Our Protective Armor
Fear is a natural, biological response to threat, not a sign of weakness or moral failure. However, in systems that thrive on control, fear is intentionally cultivated. Authoritarian and fascist regimes, for instance, don't solely rely on force; they wield fear made ordinary, overwhelming, exhausting, and disengaging good people.

This chronic exposure to danger leads us to develop "armor" – patterns of behavior and personality traits that form as protection. The Enneagram offers a detailed map of these protective strategies, which can manifest in various ways:

• Perfectionism: Striving for flawlessness.
• Caregiving/People-Pleasing: Focusing on the needs of others.
• Excellence/Achievement: Driven by accomplishment.
• Knowledge/Intellectualism: Using understanding for security.
• Withdrawal/Observation: Detaching to gain perspective.
• Vigilance/Loyalty: Staying on guard and committed.
• Adaptability/Enthusiasm: Seeking positive experiences.
• Strength/Assertiveness: Projecting power.
• Disappearance/Peacekeeping: Blending in or avoiding conflict.
• Optimism/Joy-Seeking: Maintaining a positive outlook.

Beneath this armor lies a universal longing: to be safe, secure, seen, and loved unconditionally.
​
Justice, Peace, and the Indispensable Role of Truth
A crucial insight presented is that "peace is not the absence of conflict. Peace is the presence of justice." This redefines our understanding of tranquility, shifting it from a passive state to an active pursuit rooted in fairness. Furthermore, "justice always begins with truth."

When we experience fear, it is often a sign that we are paying attention to an unjust reality. Truth-telling is therefore presented not just as an act of honesty, but as "holy work." The video prompts introspection:

• What are you afraid of right now?
• What does your body know that your words haven't yet named?
• What truth about your life have you avoided because it felt safer not to name it?
• What has been normalized that is actually harming you?

Refusing to acknowledge these truths means choosing a lie that everything is fine, or that our struggles are simply a matter of being "tired" or "that's just how it is."

The Nature of Bravery: Beyond Fearlessness
Bravery is often misunderstood as the absence of fear, but the video clarifies that it is something far more nuanced and potent. True bravery is not about being fearless, constantly confronting, or sacrificing oneself to the point of breaking – these definitions often serve oppressive systems by ensuring resistance burns out.
Instead, bravery is revealed in:

• Staying Human: Maintaining empathy and connection.
• Discernment, Not Silence: Making conscious choices rather than passively staying quiet.
• Connection, Not Isolation: Building and nurturing relationships.
• Rest as Strategy: Recognizing the power of rejuvenation.
• Care as Resistance: Nurturing oneself and others.
• Telling Truths: Sharing information that sustains life.
• Risking Vulnerability: Acting without guaranteed outcomes.
• Holding Unpopular Opinions: Speaking truth to power when justice is at stake.

Bravery is often quiet, collective, and slow. It acknowledges fear not as a barrier, but as an emotion that can be present while still choosing connection and action.

Embodiment and Liberation
The journey toward bravery and justice is deeply embodied. Peace must be felt – in our shoulders, our breath, our nervous systems. If our bodies are perpetually braced and our spirits vigilant, justice has not truly reached us. Peace without embodiment remains mere rhetoric.

Liberation, therefore, is not about becoming someone new but about remembering our essential selves, shedding the armor and protections that no longer serve us. It involves:

• Trusting Inner Wisdom: Believing that the answers we need reside within us, accessible through embodied listening.
• Recognizing Our Worth: Understanding that worth is not transactional and that we belong, not because we earn it, but inherently.
• Speaking Our Truth: Recognizing that silence in the face of harm is not peace, and our presence matters.
• Challenging Survival Stories: Questioning narratives that say we must earn belonging, stay quiet, or carry burdens alone.

Finding Bravery in Action and Community
History offers countless examples of embodied bravery:

• Acts of Resistance: In Nazi Germany, bravery was hiding neighbors, passing information, and teaching banned ideas – small, relational acts rooted in conscience.
• Sustaining Community: During Apartheid, it meant protecting dignity, organizing quietly, and keeping culture alive.
• Showing Up Anyway: In the Civil Rights Movement, bravery was facing terror, holding each other, singing to regulate fear, and allowing rest so the work could continue.
• Modern Movements: The Black Lives Matter movement, fights for bodily autonomy, and advocacy for human rights worldwide demonstrate ongoing bravery in demanding change.

These acts remind us that bravery under oppressive systems is not about grand gestures alone but about sustaining ourselves, our communities, and our truth.
Personal Journeys of Courage
The video emphasizes that embracing our own journey involves discernment and courage:

• Divorce as a Brave Choice: Letting go of relationships that no longer serve, without villainizing those involved, is an act of bravery. It’s about recognizing that sometimes bravery means leaving, and sometimes it means staying.
• Ancestral Strength: Finding inspiration in the resilience and sacrifices of ancestors who navigated immense challenges.
• Seeking New Opportunities: Embracing change and transformation, even when it brings uncertainty.
• Rituals and Community: The power of ceremonies, like uncoupling rituals, to mark transitions and foster support.
• Self-Compassion: Learning to receive care, attention, and pleasure without needing to earn it.
• Sharing Wisdom: Understanding that insights and wisdom are meant to circulate and protect more than just ourselves.

Embracing Our Essence
​Beneath the armor, we discover not chaos, but our essence. This essence holds courage that is wise, love that is discerning, and power that is relational. Hope is not passive; it is a practice we must cultivate daily.
Justice does not ask us to disappear. Peace does not ask us to endure endlessly. Faith does not ask us to override our bodies. By understanding our fears, acknowledging our armor, and embracing the truth of our experiences, we can step more fully into our embodied bravery, fostering resilience, justice, and liberation for ourselves and our communities.

written by Alex Pillion MSW, LSW

Throughout history and across the globe, nature and its offerings have been considered a form of medicine, nourishing our bodies and souls in a symbiotic friendship unlike any other relationship. Nature is, in and of itself therapeutic because of the many mental and physical benefits we receive from engaging with it- we work with plants as forms of medicine like many indigenous cultures have done for millennia, and we spend time in nature to recharge our emotional batteries. Nature is also a free opportunity for developing a mindfulness practice, allowing us the space to notice, observe, and practice non-judgment and feel its loving and relieving effects.

Have you ever noticed that when observing nature, it is less common to place a value-based judgment on what we see around us as often as we place these types of labels on ourselves? For instance, when observing a tree, do we ever judge the tree for how it is rooted to the earth, or if it has curling or straight branches, or if its leaves are lush or scattered on the earth? We may find ourselves labeling the observations we make, sure (“The tree is an oak” or “Those leaves are swaying in the breeze”), but the essence of these observations do not leave us with the heaviness that often comes when we apply certain labels to ourselves. Nature provides us with opportunities to reframe how we engage in the practice of observing, allowing us to learn that coming from a place of curiosity and non-judgment will not drain us of our energy but allow us time to learn and explore.

The next time you find yourself out in nature, consider participating in a mindfulness activity like this:

• Sit quietly in a place you feel safe to close your eyes, and listen for as many bird calls as you can hear singing around you. How many can you hear? Can you recognize any of the calls? Are the songs simple calls, melodic songs, or some combination? Do they ebb and flow? Are the birds calling and responding to one another, or offering solo performances?
• Now consider how you might apply the way you engage with that activity as you sit and observe your own mind and body. How might you apply the curiosity you used to listen to the birds to your own being? How might you reframe the judgments you make about your own body and mind to include love and compassion? What would it feel like to sit quietly with yourself and listen to the call of your own body, non-judgmentally taking in the information and sitting and listening for more to come?

There are infinite lessons nature can teach us about how we process information around us, how we accept what is, and how we listen for the music that is in and outside of us. It also leaves room for us to consider how we treat the natural world around us and how this reflects back to us how we treat ourselves and others. Nature truly is medicine, for all of us.

Interested in learning more about how to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life, connect with someone on our team.
​

by Nathalie Edmond, Psy.D.

Think about all the experiences you have had that brings you to this moment in time. Some combination of nature and nurture has shaped you who you are and how you navigate the world.  With each new season in our life comes new challenges and opportunities.  Some seasons are about rest and other seasons are about growth or starting over. Which season are you in?
 
I am encouraging mindfulness of what part of yourself you allow to drive the bus in your daily life.  If you tend to be anxious, how can you use skills to manage your anxiety so it informs your decision making but doesn't drive the bus.  If you tend to be insecure, how can that insecurity be a passenger on the bus but not driving the bus. You can observe the thoughts, feelings, images, action urges and proceed through life mindfully.

I encourage you to balance rest and effort.  Respect your nervous system.  Continue to build resilience and adapt to the unexpected surprises that life brings. Cultivate joy and embrace imperfection.

I find this transition from summer to fall stressful.  Moving from the ease of summer to the intensity of fall and a new academic year is intense for me.  No matter how much I resource and plan there is always a week that is challenging.  I continue to work on riding the wave of this transition.

I invite you to think about how you approach these seasonal changes at work, school, and/or home.  Who is driving the bus? Is that who you want to be driving the bus?  For example, knowing you are stressed and having it be a passenger on the bus to inform your decision making  is incredibly helpful but letting your stress or anxiety drive the bus is probably not that helpful.

What might you need to include in your self care plan?  More sleep, more fun, playtime, dance, creativity, focus, exercise, meditation, yoga, knitting, time with friends, downtime....

What supports do you need to navigate the next couple of months of the election news cycle?

If you need some support navigating this season check out our team at Mindful and Multicultural Counseling.

By Ciera Cuevas, MA, LPC

​Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) is an evidence-based treatment that was initially designed to help individuals with borderline personality disorder manage intense emotions and improve their relationships. Since then, it has proven effective in addressing a wide range of emotional and behavioral challenges. DBT comprises four core modules: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.

​In recent years, expressive art therapy has gained recognition as a powerful tool for promoting emotional growth and self-awareness. Expressive art therapy is based on the belief that artistic expression can foster healing, growth, and connection to self and others. These components complement DBT by providing a non-conventional and engaging approach to skill-building. By integrating various art forms such as painting, drawing, creative writing, music, and movement, expressive art therapy allows participants to explore their feelings, thoughts, and experiences in a safe and non-judgmental space. Its ability to tap into the creative essence of individuals makes it a unique and effective approach to teaching dialectical behavior skills.

​Conducting expressive art therapy within a group setting offers several advantages. Group dynamics encourage peer support, validation, and shared experiences, fostering a sense of belonging and reducing feelings of isolation. It creates an environment where participants can learn from one another, practice empathy, and develop valuable social skills.

​The integration of expressive art therapy with dialectical behavior skills training has proven to be a promising approach for young adults in a group setting. By embracing creativity and self-expression, participants can enhance their emotional well-being, develop essential coping skills, and strengthen interpersonal relationships. The combination of DBT principles and art therapy offers a holistic and transformative experience, empowering young adults to navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and self-awareness. Through creative expression, you not only gain valuable skills but also embark on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

​This fall 2023, Mindful Multicultural Counseling, located in Ewing, NJ, is offering a chance to participate in an introductory group experience. The group will further explore the integration of expressive art therapy as a method for learning and enhancing skills that support emotional regulation, interpersonal effectiveness, mindfulness, and distress tolerance among young adults. 

If you're interested in learning more and/or signing up for this group offering, please fill out the group interest form, linked here.

​There will be a free intro group session on Friday, 9/15 at 7:30pm at our office location, 20 Scotch Rd., Suite E., Ewing, NJ 08628. Questions about the group? Interested in therapy services at MMC? Feel free to reach out to [email protected].

By AnnMarie Gray, MA, LAC

Last week, Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, predicted six more weeks of winter for us. During this time of year, you may have felt the change of season and could be wondering why you feel sad during the winter.  Some may call it SAD or seasonal affective disorder, commonly known as seasonal depression. It's less discussed but SAD can also occur during the warmer months. No matter which time of year you experience symptoms, SAD can alter your mood and day-to-day functioning.​

The winter blues include symptoms such as:  low mood, little to no interest in normal activities, oversleeping, low energy levels, and trouble concentrating, to name a few. If you've noticed these symptoms affecting your mood and activity levels this winter, it would be a good idea to begin tracking these symptoms. If they're negatively impacting your life, you may want to seek a trained professional for help. ​

​A suggestion I give to my clients during these times is to start using a self-care checklist. At the beginning of the pandemic when everyone was locked in their homes and isolated from normal activities, I began to notice that some of us were less aware of what we needed to stay balanced and in-tune with ourselves. With this in mind, I had the idea to create a self-care checklist. This daily list includes basic tasks to feel healthy and incorporates the eight dimensions of wellness:

​Daily self care check list:
​

• Take all daily medication 
• Take all weekly meds 
• Brush teeth 
• Shower 
• Wash hair 
• Drink over 120 oz of water
• Plan meals for the day
• Daily movement 
• Do one journal prompt 
• Meditation for at least 5 minutes
• Check in daily with support systom
• Check calendar for upcoming appointments or events
• Add any upcoming events to your calendar
• Do a daily budget check and sign into online banking 
• Do not use technology one hour before bedtime
• Go to bed by _____

​The goal of the eight dimensions is to find a balance that works for you. They don't all need to be given equal attention, but it helps you recognize what's important to you on your health and wellness journey. The eight dimensions are:  emotional, physical, occupational,  intellectual, financial, social, environmental, and spiritual.  

​Everyones plan is individualized to their needs, and the goal should be to encourage a sense of wholeness for overall well-being. Some of us may need a reminder to eat, shower, or brush our teeth or to take five minutes a day to engage in mindfulness activities. Taking care of these basic needs is important and it might help us recognize where we're lacking. It shouldn’t be a reason to shame yourself—it's an opportunity to use that awareness to help create healthy patterns. 

​When considering seasonal affective disorder, you may recognize that you're less motivated to talk to friends and would rather stay home and watch Netflix. You may notice yourself becoming more sedentary and slacking on moving your body.  Your personal daily checklist will help you notice these patterns so you can take the steps you need to get back on track or even just create a plan for yourself. So, what is the next step if you notice you aren’t feeling like yourself?  Therapy may be for you. When working with a therapist, they'll help you create a plan to reconnect to areas in your life that may currently feel blocked or neglected. 

Here at Mindfulness and Multicultural Counseling, we offer individual therapy, couples therapy, and family therapy depending on which therapist you choose to work with. We also provide extra support by offering yoga classes and guided meditations. Here is a link to MMC's Youtube page where you can find yoga class recordings and virtual guided meditations. We're here to support you and meet you at your starting point as you navigate your wellness journey.  

​To learn more about Mindful and Multicultural Counseling (located in Ewing, NJ), please reach out to [email protected] or call our office number (609) 403-6359.

Is a career change right for you? Are you unfulfilled? Uncertain? Afraid? Confused? Wavering? These are all normal feelings or emotions to experience when you are contemplating your next career move. Does the thought of doing something different make you anxious or uncomfortable? Perhaps there are little voices in your head that make you feel guilty for desiring a change. You may even feel embarrassed to admit you are seeking something different in your life. These reactions are typical and can be expected.

If change were easy, everybody would be doing it. Maybe you got a late start in life, whether it be getting your college degree in your 30s or 40s or beyond. Or maybe you started out with a career, then spent years raising children and now that your children are older and perhaps you are an empty nester, you wonder, what is next in my life? Where do I even begin?  Thoughts such as  “but I have worked so hard to get where I am …”, “I have spent so many years at this job, at this company, in this field …”, “I make a pretty good living, so why am I not happy?...”, “If I change careers now, I will be starting all over, and it will take longer to retire…”, “I don’t know if I want to go back to school … ”,  “I don’t know where to start … ”, “What will my friends and/or family think? …", “I am older now, change is hard …”, “Is something wrong with me?…” Sound familiar? I can relate to all these thoughts.

As a mid-lifer, and someone who changed careers in my late 40s, many of these thoughts took up residence in my mind.  The thought of going back to school (again) was scary.  But I knew I was unhappy. I knew my career trajectory at that time was unfulfilling. Everything about my career then felt like a dead end. It did not matter that the job I had, the company I worked at, or the field I was in was lucrative or prestigious. I was miserable. I had even climbed the corporate ladder. Still no satisfaction. I worked hard. Endured many long days and late nights. Worked weekends. Even on vacations. Still no joy.

​Despite the path leading up to that point in my career, I could never quite measure the value I brought. Or better yet, whether I was valued. I wanted something more. I wanted to make a difference. Besides the joy of being a wife, a mother, a sister, or a friend, I wanted to feel a sense of purpose in my life. Deep down I knew my career was not leading me to that sense of fulfillment.

​So, I get it. Changing careers was one of the best decisions I have ever made. No matter the stage of life, I encourage you to be introspective of your feelings and thoughts. Discover what is important to you. Find out what drives you. Ask for help. You are not alone.