Managing Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating Around the Holidays: Tips and Strategies

By Marissa Mangual, MS, LPC

The holidays can be a wonderful time to connect with loved ones and celebrate. It can also create stress for those struggling with an eating disorder or disordered eating behaviors. Here are a few tips that may be useful during this holiday season:

• Come up with a plan! Work with your therapist, dietician, and/or supportive individuals to identify foods you feel comfortable eating, and which “fear foods” you want to avoid or try. If you would feel more comfortable, offer to bring a dish that is already part of your meal plan. If you can plan your meal ahead of time, go for it! If you do not have a therapist or dietician, or are looking for more support with your recovery, I encourage you to check out the links at the end of this post.

• Being around particular foods, or large quantities of food, may increase anxiety or fear for those in recovery. Identify coping skills ahead of time to help manage difficult emotions and negative thought patterns. A few examples include:

1. Deep breathing techniques, such as finger breathing:  using your fingers to help track your breathing. With your hands in front of you, lift your pinky up slowly while inhaling, and on the exhale slowly put that finger back down. Move on to the next finger and repeat. Continue this exercise until you get through all ten fingers. 
2. Distracting through friendly conversations with others. 
3. Use tangible objects such as silly putty, grounding stones, or stress ball.
4. Take a brisk walk, splash cold water on your hands and/or face, or hold icepack or ice.
5. Engage in mental grounding/mindfulness by describing objects around the room to yourself, playing a categories game with yourself (i.e., name movies or celebrities starting with A and moving through the alphabet), or counting backwards starting from 100. 
6. Play a game on your phone, write, bring a crosswords or sudoku.
7. Listen to music that increases positive emotions or thoughts. 

• ​Give yourself permission to eat your favorite foods without judgment and shame. Remind yourself that holiday foods aren’t “unhealthy.” Stay mindful and challenge your diet talk and inner critic. It is okay to enjoy foods that are satisfying!

• ​Pre-mealtime mindfulness. Before settling in to eat, try pausing and taking a few deep breaths. Notice any negative thoughts or feelings that may arise. Using positive affirmations or compassionate self-talk can be useful to challenge those patterns in the moment. Affirmations may differ depending on what you are struggling with. Some include:

​“I will eat to nourish my body, mind, and soul”
“I am able to trust and listen to what my body needs”
“I deserve to eat”
“I am building a healthy relationship with food”
“I trust my body and hunger cues to tell me when I am satisfied”

• ​Prepare mindful games or prompting questions to ask other friends and family during meal time. If you are around supportive people who are aware of your difficulties, think about talking with them before hand to come up with ideas. 

• ​Post-meal plan. This time can be very distressing and induce feelings of guilt and shame, which could increase urges to compensate (i.e., purging, restricting food for the rest of the day, exercise/movement to “rid off” calories consumed, or eating more despite feelings of fullness). Some activities include watching engaging/comedic TV or videos, engaging in light conversation, playing a game or puzzle (on your phone or bring one in preparation), going for a light walk (if this is not a compensatory behavior), or listening to music.

• ​Set boundaries. It is okay to ask others for what you may want or need to help support you around meals. Think about what conversations or topics may increase stress for you, and prepare to manage diet talk or comments about food.(i.e., “You’ve gained/lost weight,” “You look so healthy!,” “Holidays are ‘cheat’ days.”)  For some, it can be harmful and increase urges or feelings of shame. We cannot control what others say but we CAN control how we respond and how we use our voice. Some responses could include:

“Could we please talk about something other than calories, weight, or diets?”
“I’d rather not discuss what’s on my plate or how I look.”
“Let’s make this table a safe place with topics that we’re all comfortable with.”
“This food isn’t ‘bad,’ it’s succulent.” (Or herbal, flaky, aromatic. Fruity. Salty. Peppery. Any descriptive adjective will do.)
“I’d prefer not to talk about treatment or recovery.”

​Resource: https://www.emilyprogram.com/blog/to-those-fearing-the-thanksgiving-table/

• Limit/block social media accounts with diet culture messages about the holidays.

• Be compassionate towards yourself and create self-care activities! Enjoy yourself and remember you are worthy of recovery!

• Create positive moments. Celebrate! The holidays don’t have to be all about food. Writing and/or expressing gratitude has been associated with feeling more positive emotions, dealing with adversity, building positive relationships to self and others, improving health, and appreciating and enjoying pleasant experiences.

​If you need additional support throughout the holiday season, our team here at Mindful and Multicultural Counseling is here for you. Click here to learn more about MMC’s clinicians and counseling services.

Websites to connect/gain further support:

https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com/support-groups

https://business.facebook.com/bingeeatingconnection

https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

https://edrcsv.org/get-help/support-groups/free-online-ed-and-body-image-support-groups/